Masturbation

I’ve been watching a new show on HBO called, Tell Me You Love Me. In short, it’s a show about couples in relationship who have the common link of the same female therapist. Therefore, it’s not only about relationships but working relationships out in therapy.

In this show I have found one couple to be very interesting…Katie & David. They have been married forever, have wonderful kids, a nice house & generally a nice life. That is, they have everything but intimacy. Katie reveals in therapy that they haven’t had sex in a year, and only then it was because it was their anniversary. Somewhat expectedly, their anniversary comes and goes this year with no sex.

At one point in the last few episodes, the therapist recommends to Kate that she needs to find her sexuality. I don’t remember the therapist recommending masturbation, but she decides to try it out. She’s at home alone, locks the doors and looks around as if someone is watching. She lays down on the bed and gives touching a try. She appears frustrated and walks into the bathroom. Again, locking the door, she leans up against the sink and begins putting her hands down her pants. She’s starting to get into it more and I find myself thinking, “That’s awesome. This is just what she needs.” Then, she stops and walks away from it altogether.

I know that there are women like that out there, but I just don’t understand them. I don’t know if it’s that they never masturbated and don’t know how to explore their bodies and please themselves or if it’s that they’ve been without touch for so long that they simply feel that pleasure is something so elusive that they don’t even try. I felt myself wanting to say to her, “Kate…do this. Be the sexual being you know you want to be…can be. If for no other reason, do this to relieve some unnecessary stress you’ve put on yourself. Do this and you will want Dave more.”

I was thinking about this today and thought about my first masturbatory experience. I remember this like it was yesterday, when it was really 23 years ago (for those of you who know my age, you can do the math). I began touching myself around that time and kept thinking, “Why do women do this? I’m not getting anything out of this. Sure, it feels nice to have any kind of touch, but what is the big deal.” Then I had my first orgasm. My thoughts instantly turned to, “Whoa…I sooooo get this!” The point is, I didn’t understand the first several times I touched myself. So, in my thoughts today, I wondered if that is the same problem with Kate. I wonder if she just hasn’t experienced pleasure in a way that would make her understand how important it is to her alone, let alone her marriage.

Then I thought about something really odd. How many women out there actually masturbate? Do they do this on a regular basis? Do they no longer do it because they’re in relationship and feel that should be satisfied by coupling? Was I one of the few women out there who understand how good it is to know your body so well that you can explain it to other people?

Thoughts?

UPDATE: OMG…Mark found this great site that talks about women’s masturbation horror stories. It’s definitely worth a look.

Bill Maher 05-18-07

I think this was one of the best shows he ever had. I found myself laughing a lot, but really resonating with the material. I absolutely adored Russell Simmons. My God, what an amazing man. I think I’m going to include him the next time someone sends me a meme with the question, “If you could pick anyone living or dead to have lunch with, who would it be?” Anyway, you have love YouTube. I found the entirety of the program on Friday in 6 parts. So, you can see it all here. (Click Read up above to see more.) Read more

Mirena – Parte Dos

When I first wrote the post about the placement of my Mirena, I had no idea how popular it would be. There are currently 167 comments, most of which are not very positive. Early on I kept thinking, “Well, I had bleeding & headache issues for a while, but now it’s fine.”

More comments were made and I began to look into the Mirena more carefully. I read about side effects such as headache, water retention, breast tenderness and acne. I thought, “Well, the headaches have gone for the most part and the other things don’t bother me, so I must be lucky.”

Even more comments came and went. This had led to me looking into it again, as of late, because I just can’t get past so many people looking for information about this and having such negative results. I found other sites that listed more side effects such as abdominal pain, upper respiratory infection, leukorrhea, nausea, insomnia, nervousness, weight increase, abnormal Pap smear, depression, vaginitis, hypertension, decreased sex drive and sinusitis. That’s when it hit me.

Over the last year that I’ve had the Mirena in I have been the highest weight I have ever been, leading me to seek out weight loss surgery (which I will have at the end of June). I’ve had mood swings and bouts where I really don’t want Joe touching me at all. I have had acne like a teenager and have had the hardest time going to sleep at night. I recently began taking anti-depressants again because I feel like I’m in a funk. I have explained it to my Internist as something that just doesn’t feel right.

My best guess is that the one thing that may be causing some, if not all, of these symptoms is something I have overlooked for quite some time, despite the fact that others put it in front of my face constantly.

On the 18th of this month I am having the Mirena removed because in the last year I have had to see doctors in the specialties of Internal Medicine, Neurology, Sleep Disorders, Dermatology & Weight Loss. Does this mean that those symptoms will magically disappear? Who knows. All I know is that it’s worth a shot.

Sex…Mmmmmeme

From Mark

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? Yes…many times.

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? Oh Yeah!

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Sure. Things like falling off the bed, getting your hair caught, bodily fluids going awry, queefs, etc. are all funny.

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? During, no. After, most certainly.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? It depends. I’d say yes a majority of the time though.

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Without a doubt!

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Yes.

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? Ooh, I like lots of talk. The dirtier the better.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Yes. I’ve sweated through an HIV testing phase and then was far more careful.

10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIEND’S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Do I have to answer this? Um, okay…yes.

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? One with the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life. The sex was terribly ordinary, though. So, it was a disappointment.

12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? Yes.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Yeah. That’s pretty hot, actually.

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Yes.

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKEN? …and gotten stuck up inside me. Yes!

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? I can’t think of any, if you can believe that.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 17. I was in love and it was time. Unfortunately, he was so small that I actually had to ask if he was in. You know you’re small when a virgin asks that question.

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? Aside from Joe?…Jeremy Piven.

19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? Not even remotely.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? I’ve been feeling a bit horny today.

21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? More than 25…let’s just leave it at that.

22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? It depends on what kind of car. Generally speaking, yes.

23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? LOL What do you think?

24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIEND’S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Almost, but couldn’t.

25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? A few, actually.

26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD. Toys very, very good.

27. LINGERIE. Sometimes.

28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? Yes, then proceeded to live with him. Bad idea!

29. WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX? Train tracks, outside apartment stairs, gulf of mexico, hot tub(s), forest preserve, in a tent while camping, waterbeds, every room in a typical house, apartment pool(s), in a car, next to my car when it broke down once (while waiting for the tow truck), that’s all I can think of right now.

Bonus: If two people, who are married to others, find themselves alone together and both masturbate but there is never any physical contact, is it cheating? I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone I know, so I don’t really consider this a realistic scenario. However, for the sake of argument, no, I don’t think this is cheating. That’s assuming that they are both just “doing their thing” and not talking dirty to each other or looking deeply into each others eyes or really want there to be sex instead of masturbation. It’s really the thoughts of the people involved that would make it cheating or not.

Posted in Sex

Anniversary and Other Things!

As Linda mentioned we just celebrated our first year anniversary… Its amazing and hard to beleive that a whole year has passed since we walked down the aisle and agreed to a lifetime together. It was one of the best decisions I have made. Life has been crazy lately!!! We celebrated our anniversary by going returning to the site of our wedding and holeing ourselves up there for a weekend… The baker who made our cake offers you the choice of a frozen topper or a fresh cake at your one year anniversary.. we chose the fresh cake so we decided the best way to get the cake and do something special was to spend the weekend in a whirlpool suite at the hotel where our wedding took place. It was soooo wonderful to get away and just spend time together! I wish we could do that every few months. We took full advantage of the whirlpool tub that was in our room!!

We came back and then 4 days later left for passover at the Inlaws. At which point we stayed there for four days. I am not sure if I am coming or going. It was wonderful to see so many members of Neil’s family and to celebrate passover with them although I am frustrated with their seder as it is done almost entirely in hebrew so I can followq the hebrew and read what they are saying and not have a clue as to what I am reading or I can read the english to myself and not follow the exact hebrew word for word.. having grown up with seders with more of a mix of both its a bit frustrating but thats ok.. Oh the other thing is that due to some very religious members of the family Seders started at 9 pm and ended at 2 or 230 am! I am becoming an expert at my mother in laws passoiver recipes…. as I did most of the baking and cooking that she used to do but can no longer because of emphysema.

We are back home now. The house is still on the market. We thought we had a potential buyer but that did not work out. I am looking frequently for houses in Atlanta but am scared off by many price tags! WHo knew houses could give you soo little and be so expensive…

And keep your fingers crossed for us as my medical issues seem to have resolved and the babymaking has begun yet again! Hubby and I are anxious for the day when we can be Mommy and Daddy Kiddoc!

I hope everybody has a great day!

A Mitzvah, Except For Standing!

Tin Can Man left the following joke in my comments section at KOTGD:

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, “Rabbi, we realize it’s tradition for men to dance with men and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we’d like your permission to dance together.”

“Absolutely not,” says the rabbi. “It’s immodest. Men and women always dance separately.”

“So after the ceremony I can’t even dance with my own wife?”

“No,” answered the rabbi. “It’s forbidden.”

“Well, okay,” says the man, “What about sex? Can we finally have sex?”

“Of course!,” replies the rabbi. “Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have children!”

“What about different positions?” asks the man.

“No problem,” says the rabbi. “It’s a mitzvah!”

“Woman on top?” the man asks.

“Sure,” says the rabbi. “Go for it! It’s a mitzvah!”

“Doggy style?”

“Sure! Another mitzvah!”

“On the kitchen table?”

“Yes, yes! A mitzvah!”

“Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?”

“You may indeed. It’s all a mitzvah!”

“Can we do it standing up?”

“NO, NO, NO!” cries the rabbi.

“Why not?” asks the man.

“Could lead to dancing.”

Posted in Sex