Meeting the In Laws

Linda has so graciously offered me the opportunity to join her blog… having never entered the blogging world except to read others posts I hope that everybody will bear with me as I enter this new world!
As Linda mentioned in her description of me.. I am planning a wedding and just finished surviving a weekend where my mom met my inlaws. All in all everybody was on their best behavior and seemed to get along very well but it makes me think about what others have experienced when their in laws met for the first time. Share your best and worst In Law stories !

Knockin’ On The Golden Door

Since Linda seems to know me well enough by now to have given me a very appropriate password, I think I should call my first post by the name I have decided to use for my own blog (if I ever get around to it!)

Knockin’ on the golden door is, of course from Estimated Prophet:

“California, preaching on the burning shore
California, I’ll be knocking on the golden door”

Being as we live just north of San Francisco in an area steeped in the music of the Dead and all of the other counter-culture that grew out of the 60’s, I felt it was appropriate. Everybody who was anybody from Janis Joplin to the Grateful Dead played at some point or another at the Inn of the Beginning which is a five-minute walk from my front door. Sadly, it is no more, and, incredibly, I never got to see anyone of import play there. In its heyday I was living in Marin and spending my concert money at places like Winterland, the Warfield, the Fillmore, Rancho Nicasio and, (if anyone reading this lives around here, they might remember)Uncle Charlie’s in Corte Madera. I get a little twinge of nostalgia when I think of all the great music that is no more, but then there are always bands like this that are still going strong.

So there’s a little of my history, and thanks, Linda, for the opportunity to guestblog on your always excellent site.


Thank you all, including those who personally emailed as well. I’ve been trying to get back to everyone personally, but it’s been a bit difficult over the last couple of days. I’ll keep working on it though.

I’ll have you know that I went to the doc yesterday and received some meds which will hopefully alleviate the severity I feel about my situation. Overwhelm is one thing, but crying every day is another. Honestly, I feel better just bringing that out into the open. I’ve pushed aside some feelings for a while and, well, that’s not a good thing. When Joe returns home at the end of the month for good, things should get better as the distribution of responsibilities will even out more.

Something I did not mention before, and the main reason I went to the doc yesterday, was that I believed my toe was broken. On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, Ari came charging at me and hit my big toe straight on and hard! It hurt quite a bit, but never seemed to get better and consistently kept getting more swollen and blue (yuck, I know). The doctor had to drill two holes in my nail to release the pressure and drain fluid for about 15 minutes. He said that I likely had a fracture which was contributing to the pain, but that the pain should be much better after the fluid was released. He was right. At least it’s not throbbing anymore. But, I do get the sharp pains every once in a while. I’m assuming that’s the bone on the mend. I am instructed to keep it away from trauma (hello…big dogs and a toddler) and tight shoes until it feels normal again. But if you want to talk dedication over the high holy days, I squeezed that broken & hemorrhaged toe into a pair of heels to go to services and Tashlich that first evening. Tashlich was about a mile/mile and a half total. Of course, I had no idea how serious it was at that time, but it hurt like hell.

For those of you who doubt that anything is wrong with Ari, other than a speech delay, I hope you’re right. Our thought right now is that even though he may not have clinical autism, he does show several signs, so it doesn’t hurt to put some techniques into play for specific issues…like communication.

Ari sees me tired (nothing new there), but he doesn’t see me terribly worried with regard to him. All he sees right now is me coming closer to the ground and holding things next to my mouth so he can see how I say them. It’s a start. He thinks that funny, actually, as if to say, “Silly Mommy. I’ll talk when I’m ready, not when you’re ready.” He goes to the doc today for his two year checkup and we’ll move forward from that. A good friend of ours is a child psychiatrist who gave us some really great resources, while adding that she did not believe Ari was classically autistic, but that he did have a speech delay which was worth assessing.. Other good friends of ours have a child who is autistic and knows the best places in town to get the help we need, should that be his diagnosis. We have a tremendous support system in place.

We are so unbelievably grateful to every one of you for your friendship, understanding, empathy and infinite wisdom brought forward with regard to your own lives. Thank you so much!

your thoughts and prayers

Thanks to everyone who had put happy thoughts and thoughtful prayers out there for the possibility that this was the month for the conception of our second child. Unfortunately, it is not.

My friend came to visit today, 3 days late. Based on the way I feel and the timing, we believe this was another failure to implant. We are moving on to cycle 16. UGH!

In the future, I will probably keep my symptoms to myself and just announce the good news when it happens.

Excuse me while I go sulk for a while.


I’ve had a really strong reaction to a couple of Michele’s posts lately. The first post, yesterday, described a woman who voluntarily aborted 2 out of three of the triplets she was carrying. The second post, this morning, went into more detail about views on abortion; the obvious pro-choice/pro-life debate that started in the comments from that first post.

As some of you know, we’ve been trying for 15 months now to conceive our second child. I am currently 35 years old and my body doesn’t work the same as it did when I was younger. Nature slows down and getting pregnant can take a bit of time. It took us 11 months to conceive Ari.

What you don’t know, is that I had an abortion when I was 18.
Read more


Obviously, you’ve seen some poems here over the last couple of days. I want to explain that a little bit.

Remember when I said I was going to transition everything on my private site to here? Well, it’s almost all complete. The only thing that is left over there is the poetry. While I don’t usually like the whole category thing, I think it comes in rather handy in this scenario.

You can see in the upper left-hand corner the My Poetry listing with the number of poems there currently. You should see that number increase by 1 – 3 per day until all of my poetry is here. I am thinking of posting one per day that is current and one or two per day, in addition, that are backdated. There were 40 online, at last count, so you’ll be coming across some poetry over the next two weeks. I hope you like that sort of thing.

FYI: All of the poems that are posted here without giving specific credit to someone else ARE written by me. I think that some of them really suck. But, one man’s garbage is another man’s gold.

95 Things About Me (updated 8-6-14)

Everything you want to know about me and more.

  1. Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois then moved to…
  2. Austin, Texas for 11 years
  3. Dumfries, Virginia (D.C. Area) for 7 months
  4. Baltimore, Maryland for a little over 1 year
  5. Highland Heights, Kentucky (Cinci Area) to train for new job overseas
  6. Brussels, Belgium to work far too long for sadistic and psychotic MD, PhD
  7. Back to the U.S.A. in 2000 to Lexington, Kentucky
  8. Finally on to Columbus, Ohio, where I reside now
  9. I call “Chicago” home
  10. I was married from 2000 – 2014
  11. I have two sons, named Ari (Aug. ’02) and Joshua (Sept. ’05)
  12. I have 2 dogs, Marinda & Loki II, South African Boerboels
  13. I speak passable Spanish, French and a tiny bit of Dutch, Hebrew & Norwegian
  14. I am 45 Years Old
  15. I had platinum blonde hair through most of my childhood
  16. I am a graduate student in counseling & substance use disorder (was pre-med)
  17. My favorite author is Henry David Thoreau
  18. My favorite book, currently, is The Gifts of Imperfection
  19. I don’t have a favorite color
  20. I adore coffee and seek a favorite cafe in every city
  21. I like board games but don’t go out of my way to play them
  22. Maple Walnut, my favorite ice cream, is very hard to find
  23. I worked as a volunteer emergency vet tech for nearly 2 years
  24. I’m a huge Jeremy Piven fan
  25. I get excited about thunderstorms
  26. I’ve dyed my hair fuschia pink (punk years)
  27. My high-school entrance exams were high enough to be admitted to college
  28. I have 3 half siblings named Wayne, James & Susan. They all live in Illinois
  29. I am colorblind which, for a woman, is rare
  30. It’s almost impossible for me to fall asleep in moving vehicles
  31. I facilitated dance classes, which use the work of Gabrielle Roth, in Austin
  32. I hung out with a car club when I was 16
  33. I converted to Judaism in 1999 after the process of almost 8 years
  34. I have been on fire and, obviously, survived
  35. I think that Vietnamese food rocks and I usually have Pho
  36. My favorite number is 13
  37. I used to be a licensed cosmetologist specializing in skin care
  38. I would never want to be left in a room with Dr. Evan Stein and a sharp object
  39. I wrote, casted and produced a play when I was 8 years old
  40. The two beers I like most are Kasteel & Heinekin Tawrebok
  41. My favorite red wine is Liberty School Cabernet
  42. My favorite white wine is Via Sattui’s Off-Dry Riesling
  43. I was the vice president of my high-school riding club
  44. I have Chinese food delivered once per week
  45. My first album was “The Grand Illusion” by Styx
  46. I have the tendency to be overtly arrogant and covertly proud
  47. The movie Sixteen Candles, happened to me (minus the hottie at the end)
  48. I am an HBO junkie
  49. I used to run about 25 miles per week
  50. I once despised Bill Maher, who is now a favorite after moving to HBO
  51. If given the choice of beach, city, country, or mountains, I would choose the beach
  52. The first concert I attended was a Sean Cassidy concert
  53. Autumn is my favorite season
  54. I have 7 piercings in my ears, though I usually only wear one set
  55. I am not intimidated by anyone
  56. My first love was Chris Simmons
  57. The human characteristic I value most is authenticity
  58. Gladiola is my favorite flower
  59. I don’t like diamonds
  60. My favorite precious stone is sapphire
  61. Playing blackjack in a casino is one of the biggest rushes for me
  62. I’ve been writing poetry since I was 7 years old
  63. I took violin lessons in grade school
  64. The fist rated R movie I saw was Caddyshack – I was 13
  65. I have met Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter
  66. I played the Grand Prize game on Bozo’s Circus
  67. My dream car is… (don’t know anymore, ha)
  68. I taught myself data analysis to the extent of earning $40k + benefits
  69. I was an art major in high-school
  70. One of my best features is my voice
  71. I find incredible peace using Tai Chi
  72. My favorite vacation was any time I was in the Netherlands
  73. My first car was an AMC Hornet otherwise known as “the piece of crap”
  74. I never thought I would get married, and was OK with that
  75. I was in a rock opera when I was 14
  76. I hate reading books, but am well read
  77. I’ve never met a cat that didn’t like me
  78. I have skinny dipped during a party
  79. I smoked for 10 years and quit 16 years ago
  80. I was gifted a pair of Minnie Mouse ears to wear when I’m taking myself too seriously
  81. I have made love in the Atlantic Ocean
  82. I collect Starbucks City Mugs
  83. I have no tattoos
  84. Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf was released on the day I was born
  85. My biggest pet peeve is someone talking with their mouth full
  86. I am a control freak
  87. My favorite tree is a Weeping Willow
  88. I respect people who push the envelope and challenge normalcy
  89. I think every person could benefit from therapy
  90. I remember my family’s first color television
  91. I am the first in my family to graduate college
  92. I took the LSAT, but never went to law school
  93. I have enough college credits to have a Ph.D.
  94. I would love to own a house in Den Haag
  95. My favorite music is EDM