We’re Having A Baby

I’m finally starting to get excited about this. Perhaps it’s because the baby’s room freshly painted. Now there’s this lovely small room that is painted a pale yellow and just aglow with newness. Soon the room will have the crib and all the accoutrements that help support the every day life of a newborn.

Then again, perhaps it’s the fact that I had a great appointment yesterday with my 12th and final doctor in this pregnancy. This guy is pathologically thorough. He read through my entire chart, page by page, while I was sitting there…and my chart, much like my body, is not very slim. He made me feel very calm and I couldn’t be more pleased to have him as my physician.

Or perhaps it’s that I took a tour of the hospital birthing center today with this fantastic nurse who made me feel very welcomed and showed me some of the nicest birthing rooms I’ve ever seen. They put the last place I delivered to shame. Their birthing rooms are combined post partum rooms as well, so you don’t have to move from room to room. I received a gift for taking the tour; this beautiful baby book for the new little one (have to take that off the needed list now). At the end of the tour the nurse introduced me to the lactation consultant who was this wonderfully peaceful woman who made me feel totally at ease with the possibility that breastfeeding might work with this baby, even though it didn’t with Ari. It was a really great experience. I can’t wait to have Joshua there. Both of us will undoubtedly be in good care.

And, finally, perhaps it’s because Ari is carrying around the latest ultrasound picture of Joshua saying, “Baby…Dosh.” Granted, we’re pretty sure he still doesn’t understand fully, but it is awfully cute.

I am 28 weeks tomorrow and thus far nothing has been so catastrophic that Joshua has decided to make an early appearance. I would feel great about reaching 32 weeks, my doctor would feel great if I reached 34 weeks and Joe would feel great if I reached 36 weeks so that he can take a week off during surgery. However, we ALL feel great with each passing week.

We even tried contacting some mohels today.

Ah, yes, we’re having a baby.

Off to Atlanta

I am off to the land of the family for a few days. I have a few remaining vacation days to use before the end of the month so I am off to visit Mom, brother , sister in law and most adorable nephew. I am excited about visiting all except mom has been a bit pouty and melodramatic lately… She first got pouty when I had made plans with an old friend from high school and she had made plans for US without bothering to ask me for us to have dinner with her friends the same night.. I wouldnt have minded having dinner with her friends they are very cool but it would be nice to ask before she plans my vacation out. As it turns out my friend is only in town the one night so I am having dinner with my friend and I am not sure what she is doing.. She should be excited as she gets me all to herself as hubby is off on a 2 week business trip so its not even like she has to share my attentions with somebody else.. plus she s been acting really funny.. I want to spend as much time with my brother and sister in law and my nephew and my mom keeps finding every excuse for us not too… not sure what all of that is about … id like to think that its the my duahgter is married and things have all changed part of life but who knows.. oh and my sister in law informed me that it is my role in the family to have a baby girl as my mom feels its timne for somebody to have a baby girl ! Now that one maybe I can handle.. there were all these books in the bookstore about choosing the sex of your baby!

Gratitude

I had a three-hour drive back from the Monterey Peninsula last night, which always gives me plenty of time to think. As I left Steinbeck country, I popped a CD of the Dead’s last Winterland performance into the player. I began thinking about how the Dead were inextricably linked to the area through the Merry Pranksters and Neal Cassady, a comtemporary of Jack Kerouac, who wrote about the area in “Big Sur”. I have always understood that John Perry Barlow’s song “Cassidy” was written about Neal Cassady (interestingly enough, the spelling is not the same). I also began to reflect on how my experiences in the seventies were linked to those of certain late members of the Dead and Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady through the ravages of alcoholism and drug addiction, the difference being that I am (so far) a survivor of the disease.
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A Special Kind of Sharing

My fiance and I took advantage of some free airline tickets (gotta love getting bumped ) and came to Georgia for the weekend. We ended up choosing to come when my Nephew was turning one. We meet my family at the train after arriving into town and lo and behold…. my nephew’s birthday party has been cancelled because he has been throwing up all night long the night before. We talk to my brother and his wife and find out its ok to come visit .. my nephew seemed to be doing bettter and this way we would get to see him. We spend sat. with them after running several wedding type errands and then spend sunday with them… Thats when the bug started spreading. On sunday my brother said he wasnt feeling well but we all went out for awhile anyway.. by the mniddle of the afternoon he is throwing up and my nephew still isnt feeling great. By sunday night my sister in law has joined the throwing up club. By 9 or 10 that night.. I had joined the club too… so I was sick several times sunday night so we rested on monday with the expectation that we (my fiance and myself ) would fly back together tonight.. We are putting our bags in the car and i start getting sick again.. then we decided that there was no way i was going to make it back to Ky tonight.. ( i had a 45 minute train ride 0 and then two plane rides I would have had to tolerate… ) So on went my fiance with much prompting and i will hopefully fly out tomorrow… in the meantime its jello and coke for me. Its all worth it cause my nephw is a total cutie and it was great to get to see him !

putting out fires

That’s how I feel this whole morning has been spent. From my personal life where my mother is defiantly refusing to baby-sit Ari while I attend school over her incessant belief that something is wrong with the heating system that is working just fine to the blog world where personalities and ideologies are clashing.

I’d rather not talk about the mother situation because it will just get me more pissed, but I do want to make something clear with regard to this particular blog.
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Meeting the In Laws

Linda has so graciously offered me the opportunity to join her blog… having never entered the blogging world except to read others posts I hope that everybody will bear with me as I enter this new world!
As Linda mentioned in her description of me.. I am planning a wedding and just finished surviving a weekend where my mom met my inlaws. All in all everybody was on their best behavior and seemed to get along very well but it makes me think about what others have experienced when their in laws met for the first time. Share your best and worst In Law stories !

update

Thank you all, including those who personally emailed as well. I’ve been trying to get back to everyone personally, but it’s been a bit difficult over the last couple of days. I’ll keep working on it though.

I’ll have you know that I went to the doc yesterday and received some meds which will hopefully alleviate the severity I feel about my situation. Overwhelm is one thing, but crying every day is another. Honestly, I feel better just bringing that out into the open. I’ve pushed aside some feelings for a while and, well, that’s not a good thing. When Joe returns home at the end of the month for good, things should get better as the distribution of responsibilities will even out more.

Something I did not mention before, and the main reason I went to the doc yesterday, was that I believed my toe was broken. On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, Ari came charging at me and hit my big toe straight on and hard! It hurt quite a bit, but never seemed to get better and consistently kept getting more swollen and blue (yuck, I know). The doctor had to drill two holes in my nail to release the pressure and drain fluid for about 15 minutes. He said that I likely had a fracture which was contributing to the pain, but that the pain should be much better after the fluid was released. He was right. At least it’s not throbbing anymore. But, I do get the sharp pains every once in a while. I’m assuming that’s the bone on the mend. I am instructed to keep it away from trauma (hello…big dogs and a toddler) and tight shoes until it feels normal again. But if you want to talk dedication over the high holy days, I squeezed that broken & hemorrhaged toe into a pair of heels to go to services and Tashlich that first evening. Tashlich was about a mile/mile and a half total. Of course, I had no idea how serious it was at that time, but it hurt like hell.

For those of you who doubt that anything is wrong with Ari, other than a speech delay, I hope you’re right. Our thought right now is that even though he may not have clinical autism, he does show several signs, so it doesn’t hurt to put some techniques into play for specific issues…like communication.

Ari sees me tired (nothing new there), but he doesn’t see me terribly worried with regard to him. All he sees right now is me coming closer to the ground and holding things next to my mouth so he can see how I say them. It’s a start. He thinks that funny, actually, as if to say, “Silly Mommy. I’ll talk when I’m ready, not when you’re ready.” He goes to the doc today for his two year checkup and we’ll move forward from that. A good friend of ours is a child psychiatrist who gave us some really great resources, while adding that she did not believe Ari was classically autistic, but that he did have a speech delay which was worth assessing.. Other good friends of ours have a child who is autistic and knows the best places in town to get the help we need, should that be his diagnosis. We have a tremendous support system in place.

We are so unbelievably grateful to every one of you for your friendship, understanding, empathy and infinite wisdom brought forward with regard to your own lives. Thank you so much!