Why me?

I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m wondering why I always get myself into things I really never wanted any part of. I’m learning a lot about that lately.

Recently, I’ve felt a little slighted by a couple of women on a bulletin board to which I participate. I had my coffee yesterday, sat down with an open slate on MS Word and started penning a letter to the two women, describing when I thought their level of interest in me and my posts waned and what I thought was the cause of this. Then I stopped, looked at this letter and promptly deleted it. Why was I writing this letter?

I was about to start down a rocky road I had taken so many times before. As a strong personality, I created a situation where these women were truly starting to dislike me because of my speaking the truth. Instead of letting it just bother them, I let their reaction bother me. It might be important to clarify my intent or to elaborate if these were established friends or family. But, these are two women I have neither met, nor probably have the opportunity to meet.

What really bothers me about this? Herd mentality. Them talking to others and rallying against me. I don’t care if people don’t like me…that’s life. I do care that some people simply take the words of others instead of dealing with me directly and forming their own opinion.

Strong personalities are often burdened by the misperception of others that they are unapproachable. That simply isn’t true. Strong personalities are usually MORE open to constructive criticism and opinions of others. Speaking for myself, I respect others who can voice their opinion, particularly if it’s in opposition to my own.

The world of online bulletin boards has often been a savior for me, especially with regard to raising my son. But, like with anything online, there is a lot that’s lost in the translation of technology. As a society who relies on intonation to gauge the meaning of a conversation, online discussion often falls short. Yesterday, I took the first step toward not putting myself in the precarious situations I have ended up in before.

A “No” uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
~Mahatma Gandhi

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